Sex and pleasure are for everyone, no matter who you are or who you love! This guide is designed with inclusivity in mind, making sure that all identities, orientations, and bodies feel celebrated and empowered. Whether you’re exploring solo or with a partner, discovering pleasure should feel fun, exciting, and affirming. Let’s dive into some playful and informative tips for our LGBTQ+ family!
Sex Toys Aren’t One-Size-Fits-All
Here’s the beautiful truth: there’s no single “right way” to experience pleasure. Bodies are unique, desires vary, and identities are fluid—and so is how we use sex toys! Whether you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, non-binary, or anywhere in between, there are toys and tips that can enhance your pleasure journey. It’s all about finding what works for you.
Let’s Smash Stereotypes!
• Toys aren’t “just for women” or “just for men”—they’re for everyone! Break free from gendered ideas about sex toys and embrace the fact that pleasure knows no gender.
• Anal play, for example, is for anyone who enjoys it (hello, nerve endings!). Vaginal penetration isn’t limited to just cis women. Trans and non-binary folks, as well as those with any anatomy, deserve toys that match their desires and comfort.
Toys Tailored to Your Experience
When it comes to exploring with toys, you deserve options that suit your body and your identity. Here are some toy recommendations that work for a variety of sexual orientations and gender expressions.
Gender-Affirming Toys
For those on a gender journey—whether you’re transitioning or exploring gender non-conformity—there are toys that can help enhance both your comfort and pleasure. Here’s what to explore:
• Packers: Soft prosthetics that give a more masculine appearance under clothing, great for gender affirmation.
• Strokers: These are fantastic for trans men and non-binary folks who want to explore pleasure post-testosterone or top surgery.
• Vibrating Strap-Ons: Perfect for trans and non-binary individuals who want to explore penetration without the pressure of using specific anatomy.
• Tip: Choose toys that make you feel good about your body and affirm your gender identity. Always go at your own pace and comfort level.
• Product to Try: Soft packers or gender-affirming harnesses for confidence inside and outside the bedroom.
Strap-Ons & Harnesses
Strap-ons are a popular choice across LGBTQ+ communities, whether for penetrative sex or just to spice things up. They offer a versatile way to give and receive pleasure regardless of anatomy.
• For Lesbian Couples: Strap-ons can be an empowering way to switch up roles and give your partner a new kind of experience.
• For Trans and Non-Binary Folks: Look for gender-affirming harnesses that fit comfortably and feel right for your body. Some harnesses are designed with soft packers for day-to-day wear and are great for use during sex.
• Tip: Start with an adjustable harness that allows you to swap different-sized dildos so you can experiment with what feels best for both partners.
• Product to Try: Double-strap harnesses for easy, comfortable wear.
Anal Play for All Genders
Let’s talk about anal pleasure—it’s for everyone! The anus is packed with nerve endings that make it super sensitive to stimulation. From beginners to seasoned pros, there’s a whole world of toys that can help you explore this exciting area.
• Anal Plugs: These come in all shapes and sizes, perfect for easing into anal play. Start small and work your way up if you’re a beginner.
• Prostate Massagers: For those with prostates, massagers offer mind-blowing sensations and are especially popular among gay and bisexual men, as well as curious folks who want to explore new avenues of pleasure.
• Tip: Always use plenty of lube with anal play! Silicone-based lubes are particularly great for long-lasting smoothness.
• Product to Try: Beginner-friendly anal plugs or vibrating prostate massagers for deeper pleasure.
Exploring Pleasure as a Couple
No matter who you’re partnered with, toys are a fantastic way to deepen your connection, spice up your play, and learn more about each other’s desires. Here are a few ideas to explore as an LGBTQ+ couple:
Couples’ Vibrators
Designed to be worn during sex, couples’ vibrators stimulate both partners at once—talk about a win-win! They’re perfect for gay, lesbian, and non-binary couples who want to add an extra layer of sensation to their intimate moments.
• Tip: Look for wearable couples’ toys that allow you to control the intensity with a remote (or even an app!) for fun, interactive play.
• Product to Try: Wearable vibrators for shared stimulation during sex.
Remote-Controlled Toys
Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or just want to add a little surprise to your day, remote-controlled toys let one partner take charge while the other enjoys the ride. These toys are great for people of any gender and orientation, offering both playful teasing and intense pleasure.
• Tip: Use remote-controlled toys during dates, whether at home or even in public (if you’re feeling bold)!
• Product to Try: App-controlled vibrators for fun that goes wherever you do.
Bondage and Kink for Beginners
Feeling a little adventurous? You don’t have to go all-in on kink to explore some light BDSM. For those interested in experimenting, try starting with soft restraints, blindfolds, or ticklers to add a little spice to your bedroom fun.
• Tip: Communicate openly with your partner about boundaries and comfort levels. The key to enjoyable kink is trust and consent!
• Product to Try: Kinky starter kits with handcuffs, blindfolds, and other playful accessories.
Body Positivity and Affirmation
Pleasure is for all bodies, and it’s important to feel good about your own. No matter your size, shape, or gender identity, you deserve to enjoy sex in a way that makes you feel empowered, confident, and beautiful.
Celebrate Your Body!
Sex isn’t about looking perfect—it’s about feeling good. Whether you’re using toys alone or with a partner, embrace the body you have and the pleasure it brings. Affirm your body with:
• Lingerie for All Bodies: Look for gender-affirming lingerie that makes you feel sexy and comfortable. From femme to masc, there are tons of options that suit all styles.
• Comfortable Toys: Choose toys that fit your body and your needs—whether it’s a harness, strap-on, or a stroker, there’s no wrong way to feel good.
• Tip: If you’re feeling body-conscious, start by exploring toys in a private, comfortable setting. Focus on what feels good, not how you look.
• Product to Try: Gender-neutral lingerie or comfortable binders for those who want to feel sexy in their own skin.
Inclusivity in Sexual Health and Hygiene
Sexual health is important for everyone. Make sure your guide emphasizes the importance of safe sex, toy hygiene, and overall sexual well-being. Whether you’re using toys alone or with a partner, staying safe and clean enhances your experience.
• Safe Sex Tools: Condoms, dental dams, and gloves are essentials for safe sex, no matter your orientation or anatomy.
• Toy Hygiene: Always clean your toys after use, especially if they’re shared between partners or used for anal play. Toy cleaners and wipes are great options for easy maintenance.
• Tip: Keep a stash of condoms, dental dams, and lube handy for any kind of play. It’s always better to be prepared than to miss out on the fun.
• Product to Try: Toy cleaning wipes for on-the-go hygiene, and latex-free condoms for those with sensitivities.
The Takeaway: Pleasure Has No Labels
At the end of the day, pleasure doesn’t fit into a box—it’s a spectrum, just like identity. Sex toys, when chosen and used in ways that feel affirming and joyful, can open up whole new avenues of connection, confidence, and satisfaction.
Whether you’re exploring solo or sharing the experience with a partner, there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to use a toy. The most important thing is that you feel good, respected, and in control of your pleasure. So dive in, embrace what feels right for you, and remember: pleasure is for everyone. 🌈