In long term relationships, it’s natural for the spark to dim a little over time. Life happens, routines settle in, and sometimes intimacy takes a back seat. But here’s the good news keeping that spark alive is totally possible, and it can even be fun! Whether you’ve been together for a few years or a few decades, it’s never too late (or too early!) to spice things up. Here’s your ultimate guide to reigniting passion, strengthening your connection, and bringing back the excitement.
1. Rediscover the Power of Communication
Great intimacy starts with strong communication. The more you talk about your desires, fantasies, and needs, the easier it becomes to keep the romance alive.
• Schedule a “Desire Date”: Take a night to sit down together, perhaps over a glass of wine, and openly share your sexual desires, turn-ons, and things you want to try. It’s a safe space to discuss fantasies or simply what you enjoy most about each other.
• Check-In Regularly: Your desires may change over time, so don’t assume that the same things always work. Keep an ongoing conversation about what’s working for both of you.
• Sexy Talk Beyond the Bedroom: Don’t reserve all your steamy conversations for the bedroom! Send flirty texts throughout the day to build anticipation, compliment your partner unexpectedly, and remind each other of the chemistry you still have.
2. Make Time for Intimacy (and Fun!)
Life can get hectic with work, kids, or responsibilities, but making time for intimacy is key to keeping that connection strong.
• Plan Regular Date Nights: It’s easy to get caught up in the routine, but a dedicated date night where you dress up, try something new, and focus solely on each other can do wonders for your relationship. Whether it’s a fancy dinner, an at-home spa night, or cooking together, the goal is quality time.
• Mix Things Up with Mini-Adventures: Trying new things together can bring back the excitement. Take a dance class, go on a spontaneous weekend trip, or even try something adventurous in the bedroom. The thrill of discovery can reignite your bond.
• Set the Mood at Home: You don’t always need to leave the house for a romantic night. Light candles, play soft music, and make your bedroom a cozy, inviting space for intimacy. You’ll be surprised at how a little ambiance can turn an ordinary night into a special one.
3. Explore New Ways to Connect Intimately
Intimacy isn’t just about sex it’s about deep connection, touch, and shared experiences. Reignite that spark by finding new ways to connect, both emotionally and physically.
• Try Sensory Play: Blindfolds, feathers, ice cubes, or massage oils can heighten the senses and bring a new level of excitement to your intimacy. The element of surprise adds a playful and erotic edge to your connection.
• Long, Slow Foreplay: Sometimes, foreplay gets rushed, but slowing things down can make all the difference. Take time to explore each other’s bodies without rushing to the main event. Make it about the journey rather than the destination.
• Give and Receive Massage: A sensual massage can be the perfect way to connect physically. Use oils or lotions to set the mood, and take turns pampering each other. It’s a relaxing and intimate way to touch without any pressure.
4. Add Some Playful Surprises
Surprises keep things fresh and exciting! When your partner least expects it, do something playful or romantic to show that you’re still thinking about them in a sexy way.
• Surprise Them with Lingerie: Slip into something unexpected and sexy before bed or when you’re least expected to whether it’s lacy lingerie, boxers, or something more daring. Confidence is attractive, and showing your partner you’re still eager to impress can reignite their desire.
• Leave Love Notes: Go old school and leave a steamy note in their bag, car, or on their pillow. These little acts of affection can spark anticipation and excitement for when you’ll see each other again.
• Play Sexy Games: Keep it lighthearted and playful with bedroom games designed for couples. Whether it’s a game of truth or dare, sexy dice, or a full-blown role-playing scenario, bringing play into the bedroom can transform your routine into something fun and fresh.
5. Experiment With Fantasy and Role-Playing
Sometimes, spicing up a long-term relationship means getting a little creative. Exploring fantasies or playing out different roles can help you see each other in a whole new light.
• Share Your Fantasies: Everyone has fantasies! Take turns sharing your biggest ones whether it’s trying something adventurous like BDSM, or role-playing as strangers meeting in a bar. It’s a chance to step out of your usual dynamic and explore something new.
• Try Costume Play: Dressing up in costumes can add an element of fun and surprise. You don’t need to go full theatrical something as simple as a sexy nurse outfit or a suave suit can bring your fantasy to life.
• Take Control: Switch up who takes control in the bedroom. Let one partner take the reins for a night while the other follows their lead. The change in dynamics can be thrilling and refreshing.
6. Bring Toys into the Mix
Whether or not you’ve used toys before, they can be a game changer in keeping things exciting. Adding toys into the mix brings new sensations and can enhance your connection.
• Start Simple: If you’re new to toys, start with something simple like a small vibrator or a couple’s ring. These toys are perfect for beginners and can easily be incorporated into foreplay or sex.
• Explore Together: If you’re feeling adventurous, explore the world of remote-controlled toys! They allow one partner to control the action, whether you’re in the same room or miles apart, which adds a fun and surprising twist.
• Don’t Forget Lube: Never underestimate the power of good lube! It makes every experience more pleasurable and can enhance the use of toys, especially during extended play sessions.
7. Focus on Emotional Intimacy
Emotional closeness plays a huge role in keeping the romance alive. The stronger your emotional bond, the more fulfilling your physical connection will be.
• Engage in Deep Conversations: Have regular conversations about your dreams, fears, and even insecurities. These talks help deepen your connection and remind you why you fell in love in the first place.
• Laugh Together: Don’t forget that humor is sexy! Laughing together strengthens your bond and keeps things lighthearted. Whether it’s watching a funny show or reminiscing about a hilarious memory, laughter is a great way to reconnect.
• Gratitude Goes a Long Way: Take time to express gratitude for each other—whether it’s for something they did or just because you appreciate them. Feeling valued keeps the love alive.
8. Take a Break from Routine
Routines are the biggest passion killers in long-term relationships. Breaking away from your usual habits can rekindle excitement and help you see each other in a new light.
• Try New Locations: Have sex somewhere new! Whether it’s in a different room, at a romantic hotel, or a spontaneous outdoor setting (just be discreet!), changing locations adds an element of surprise and excitement.
• Break the Schedule: Don’t always wait for bedtime. Have a “midday makeout” or sneak in a morning quickie before work. Changing up your timing can make things feel spontaneous and new.
• Go on a Sexy Getaway: Book a weekend trip where the goal is simply to relax, reconnect, and have some uninterrupted time together. Being in a new environment can reignite the romance and excitement.
Ready to Keep the Flame Alive?
No matter how long you’ve been together, spicing up your relationship is all about finding ways to reconnect, play, and explore each other’s desires. By trying new things, focusing on communication, and adding a little fun to your routine, you can keep that fire burning for years to come!
Explore our selection of toys, lingerie, and sensual products to help you and your partner rediscover each other and keep the excitement alive.